For the longest time, my entire childhood in fact, I never really thought I fit anywhere. As a kid, I really struggled not being able to fit into one certain group or “stereotype” completely. I was always too different. I know how strange that sounds now as an adult, having accepted that there is no “one” facet that completely defines me.
I am the Italian child to South American parents growing up in the United states. As a young girl, I was proud of being from a place as beautiful as Italy, but when I would be asked questions I’d never truly know how to answer since I came to the U.S. when I was five and was never really able to retain any solid memory of my Italian toddler years. Growing up I had many cultural differences, among them customs, from my friends. The differences were not just European and American but also Hispanic. I would speak Spanish with family, English with friends and teachers (as well as speaking for my parents), and always watching Italian television with family. Eventually I realized that of all three I would have to grasp and adapt to more American customs since I lived and grew up here; the struggle with this was that my parents were stuck to another culture and took them longer, especially as my sister and I became teenagers with more liberties, to adapt.
In my teenage years, the sense of not fitting in came from the cliché concepts of stereotypes. While I did not fit just one, I wanted to because I wanted and needed (or so I believed), the security of friends and a place to belong. I never just fit in one clique; I hung out with all the emo/punk kids , I used to dance and be a ballerina, I had a bunch of nerdy clubs and get together I would participate in, and I loved yearbook and the friends I had there. Eventually I realized soon enough that it was okay to not be able to fit into one kind of identity. We are all a part of everything, making us all amazingly unique and different and there is such great beauty in that.
There isn’t one facet that defines or identifies me more than another. I am an Italian woman with Hispanic parents raised in the United States. I am reader, baker, yogi, occasional writer, dancer, swimmer, avid music listener in all genres but country, a Netflix binger, and a collector of Spanish fans and Venetian masks… okay now it’s getting weird but that’s the point. My identity is not easily defined by one facet but way too many and I accept that. My identity is being able to be a well-rounded person with unique characteristics that can’t be tied down into just one stereotype. I am beautiful just the way I am. I am self-acceptance, and my Identity belongs with people (friends) who appreciate that.
What’s your identity? – ♥ AR
Indefinable Evanescent Thoughts 