An Undiscovered Purpose

Sitting at a Starbucks, a place I don’t usually go to, for a change of scenery as I take sometime to read the book I currently have checked out, I looked out the window. My view is one I usually wouldn’t spare more than a second to, but today I watched all the cars rush and weave through lanes like ants with a purpose. I realized that while my simile may not accurately represent the flow of traffic, we are all people with a purpose. This caused me to reflect on myself, and I wondered what is my purpose on this earth? What are my goals, what should they be, what do I want my life to mean? My lack of answers left me sorely disappointed.

I know what I want, I know what I’m working towards but sometimes I wonder if its worth it, if I should be doing something better – Greater – and if I’ll be dissatisfied in the future, maybe even regret it? The more I wondered, the deeper I retreated into my insecurities and uncertainty. I felt the walls closing in around me. I’m useless, a waste of space with no purpose other than to be lost and stuck. A friend recently said, ” Life’s an adventure and while we know what we like and have goals we strive towards, we may not always know what we’re doing. That’s ok because we’re not always supposed to know, many times we need to take risks and trust ourselves to learn as we go.” Now its true, she lives by what she said completely; she is very much as she calls herself, a wandering soul. While she may have some structure and rules she is very much an “anything goes” type of person. On the other hand, while I may have an excessive amount of wanderlust in me, I really enjoy structure and stability in my life.

I’m very aware that answers don’t always readily show up right in front of you – indeed it would make life much simpler but sometimes its about the journey of self discovery. Everyone has moments of weakness, uncertainties, and insecurities. Through those negative worries we must strive to discover the positives in ourselves. We all have a purpose. I truly believe that. While I may not know what mine is yet, I find that I believe I’ve chosen the right path towards discovering my ultimate purpose. I’ll learn as I go, as does everybody else. I am merely just another lost ant trying to rush and weave its way back to the great anthill we call life and home.

Time will tell. – ♥AR

#GenerationCyberspace…

A few weeks ago, I saw this very eye-opening video about technology and it had me thinking bout how much society nowadays relies on our social media, and how it controls us more and more everyday.

The internet is a wonderful tool in the hands of good people and a dangerous weapon in the hands of bad. Technology is quickly turning “interpersonal communication” and the art of personal conversation into a distant memory. I see it all around me when I go out into the world. In shopping centers, cafes, social functions, even the movies (where phones shouldn’t be used), people together and yet miles apart, not looking at each other, or even talking to each other, but looking down on their phones (or other devices) texting, and playing games. It is turning people into a society that cannot carry on a conversation unless it’s in short, abbreviated bursts on their cellphones and if in person, creating a lot of awkward silence. Therefore many are also seeking relationships more on dating sites and social networking sites instead of out in the real world – not that this is completely a bad thing, but wouldn’t it be better to meet a cute guy/girl in person? Around the same time I found this video, I was walking at the shops one night with my, at the time, boyfriend, when I saw this random girl walking down the sidewalk texting; she never looked up to see the walk light change to that red stop hand and kept on walking onto oncoming traffic. If an old man hadn’t grabbed her arm and pulled her back, she would have definitely been hit. She never even thanked him. Being part of this generation, it makes me sad and guilty (because I unfortunately play my part in all this as well) to see this happening around me.

Yes, this video, like this post so far, only focuses on the negatives when I do believe that there are great many things about technology today that is extremely beneficial to everyday life, many more than I could ever list. Not everybody is concerned with all the materialistic aspects of social media, it’s just that they are genuinely interested in communicating with friends they haven’t heard in a while or even, like in my case with many cousins , that I’m lucky if I get to see and/or talk to personally a few times every 2-3 years. How is one supposed to plan to meet up for some actual human contact/interaction without being able to call/text and ask them when they’re available? If you are lost in the middle of nowhere and nobody is around for you to ask directions, how do you get unlost? The fact that people are socializing more than ever is true as well, in every way, with or without technology.

I don’t want to eliminate technology for I am an abuser of it too, but where is the healthy balance? My, then, boyfriend for example, had no social media but a phone and he would ALWAYS text others. I, on the other hand, pretty much have every social media one can think of and yet communicate and text often times less than he would – I would constantly misplace my phone. As I said earlier, I think technology is good and bad. It’s a great tool that we can’t allow to control us. Personally, I believe cutting down a little bit more would be healthy… it would make a world of difference. So how to begin/ do that? That’s something we should figure out and decide for ourselves, and once we do, stick to it!

Yes I see the irony in spreading this thought through technology, so to reiterate… I DON’T want to stop technology, social media, and all the beautiful communication, I just want to encourage more human interaction and the beauty and growth of real life relationships with others in a limited virtual manner.

Just be Present! – ♥AR

A Thoughtful Start of Sorts…

I have this journal that I usually write my thoughts down in, and I feel like it’s a great way to empty my mind and sometimes release strong emotions. Granted, I’m not a writer so I’m not always very good at getting my point across the way I’d like it to, but its worth a try. Lately, I had been thinking about sharing some of these journal entries, and what better way than to start a blog?!These posts that I would be making won’t come often, because life tends to get in the way but I’m determined to keep up with it the best I can.

I usually write about evanescent thoughts that I feel everybody at some point experiences. The ever coming and going thoughts about family, friends, nature, music, love, confidence, etc. – the list is unending. When I write, I obviously, base things off my views and opinions and I don’t ever mean to offend anything or anybody. I often times use past experiences and my own daily life because it helps me feel like myself and so that I can help you make connections with whatever it is I’m talking about, to make you think about those connections and to help you develop what you think of it all as well.

Thoughts are a funny thing, they trigger all sorts of emotions, they help you understand, help you become more curious, more decisive, more confused, more open or even closed. They can be very simple and yet hold a lot of meaning or be extremely complex with no actual answer. The beauty of the human brain is something I will never completely understand. Just think of all the things we’ve accomplished with our thoughts and imagine all the things still possible. I, for one, am extremely ecstatic to have thoughts, especially ones that triggers my emotions, ones that help me become who I want to be. Everybody has thoughts whether they be romantic notions, fantastic daydreams, seriously depressing matters, and/or indefinable meanings of life. Thoughts make us who we are, and I’m telling you mine with the intention of helping, inspiring, or simply cheering you up and letting you see that no matter how weird something is to talk about… its the thought that counts.

Happy Thinking friends!!  –   ♥AR